Multiple Choice(s)
Another weekend out of the city, another weekend spent bemoaning life in the city and trying to figure out a way to buy that $400K row house in Philadelphia. Or Boston. Or DC. No, strike that, we can't afford DC and Virginia, according to last month's Advocate, hates the gays.
The bus ride ended up being Not So Bad, other than the fact that we had to get off the Henry Hudson last night because of an accident, and only made it back to Port Authority through the sheer luck of having someone on the bus who knew his way around the Bronx. It did feel kind of exciting, in a field trippy kind of way, to see my hospital and, later, our apartment from a bus! And even though I didn't get the chance to complete or even make any dent at all in My Novel - like not even a sentence - at least we got to sit next to each other both coming and going, and there was no Book of Revelations being read.
And now we're back and, in addition to planning this wedding, we also have the task of determining Where We Will Be in a Year. Which will depend in large part on Where M. Finds a Job, which will hopefully be Somewhere That We Can Afford a House, or At Least Buy a Cute Apartment. Or even Temporarily Rent an Apartment With A Tree Outside and Maybe a Little Patch of Lawn.
Because I have got a serious case of Home Ownership Ants in my pants.
Speaking of ants...is it a bad sign that, when our pet cockroach ran behind his coffee maker hideaway this morning, I had only the faintest hint of surprise and dismay before rationalizing it away to the fact that, if we lived in our Dream House with a tree outside, and it was a spider or an ant that lived behind our Dream House coffee maker, I would totally just let it live..and really, is there such a big difference between spiders and cockroaches, other than the fact that one eats flies and generally just hangs out in its web, while the other eats feces and dead animals and stray coffee grounds and infects my countertop with its dirty cockroach feet?
posted by Groomzilla @ 10:22 AM
6 Comments:
Leave out some little cockroach slippers.
Mixed messages, y'all.
i have to write to dispel some misconceptions about the cockroach. first, it cleans itself scrupulously so that it can better sense its chemical environment (eg, potential food sources) and is quite sanitary when compared to the common house fly (not to be confused with the fruit fly!). the house fly carries bacteria and worse on its body surface-- it even spits and regurgitates its food to promote digestion! at least the cockroack isn't like the mosquito or flea, which can be a vector for human disease. finally, cockroaches have been around for hundreds of millions of years and will most likely outlive the current human assault on our poor earth's tenuous existence. cockroach slippers may be a bit much, but do swat the flies.
-- your resident entomologist
Thank you, entomologist. If I had a fly swatter, or if Formula 409 or Zout! could reach my ceiling as effectively as it reaches behind my coffee maker, I would certainly put the flies on my snuff list.
Look, I just thought the slippers would be cute.
Jesus, why are you always trying to push the slippers for everyone?
Post a Comment
<< Home