I Can See Clearly Now

Last night, I learned - or, perhaps, was reminded of - two important lessons from my therapist:

1. It's never good to pigeonhole, especially in a relationship. In other words, just because [loved one] is often quite [descriptor], this does not mean that [loved one] is always [descriptor]; in fact, there are probably many times when [loved one] is not being at all [descriptor], but you've got it in your head that [loved one] is always [descriptor] to such an unfair degree that you never even give [loved one] a chance to not be [descriptor], which really just makes you a huge [insult].

2. My therapist brought out a book called Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples, which he suggested I might like enough to purchase myself, but I think I would sooner purchase a book on football or hedgefunds or How To Be a Better Nazi than a book with this title. Far be it from me to pigeonhole, however, because in actuality this unfortunately-titled book has a lot of insightful points to offer. The most significant of which being the suggestion that in a truly conscious relationship, one must put aside the childlike expectation that one's caregiver/partner will automatically know one's needs/thoughts/desires, and instead communicate those thoughts/needs/desires clearly. Hearing this made me realize Crap, I'm usually totally childlike when it comes to this one. And being childlike brings with it a certain preliminary satisfaction, but really, it mostly just lands me on the floor, kicking and screaming and crying like a....child. A long, sweaty, awkward child, with two days worth of stubble and a case of back acne and a vague odor of carne asada and stale pinot grigio.

Wah. Self-insight is haaawd.