Tuesday Soapbox

The problem with the arrival of the Logo channel on our cable system, and its subsequent role as homepage on our television set, is that I have now come to expect that every time I turn on the TV I will feel validated and normalized and included.

The Today Show had a segment this morning on unmarried couples living together instead of getting married, and they went on and on and on about the growing percentages of cohabitating couples who choose to never get married because they prefer the set-up they already have.

And as I was leaving my apartment yesterday, I saw a Today Show teaser where they announced the finalists for their Home Town Wedding contest and showed four couples with their backs to the camera. Four couples of apparent diversity in size, shape and color, but all hetero as far as I could tell from the rear.

This juxtoposition has left me with a strange and somewhat indescribable and probably unoriginal feeling. It's hard to put into words. I mean, sure, I understand, I live in the real world - - or really not, since Manhattan is nothing at all like the real world, but I at least know of the real world - - and I know how it works. Of course the Today Show isn't going to include gay couples in their Home Town Wedding contest. Or maybe they would if any gay couples got around to digging up a video camera and applying, but probably not. And of course the Today Show is going to cater to their largely heterosexual, Middle American audience when they do a segment on cohabitation. Never mind the fact that us gays have been doing it for years and years - - granted, without much say in the matter.

I know all these things. But it still, as they say, Gets My Goat. Because the Today Show is more than happy to have the Fab Five come on their show (never mind that the Fab Five work on NBC's sister station), or Steven Kojokarakarokaaju, or maybe even whichever actor or actress might have chosen to play gay on a given show or film. When it's for entertainment value, it's safe. But when it's about real, live Gays, not so much.

And I know it sounds naive, but it isn't fair. We were watching a show on - - surprise - - Logo last night, where the head of GLAAD was talking about how little exposure the gays get outside of the major cities. Again, not a surprise. But in my Imaginary Ideal Pretendy world, wouldn't it be nice if there was a gay couple on one of these Today Show segments - - or, to be fair to TDS, on any of these shows - - not to make a political statement but simply because we're just like everybody else?

Even as I write this, I find myself rolling my eyes at myself writing this: Well, sure, Groomzilla, of course it would be nice, but it's not gonna happen, because Gay Don't Pay the Bills, so finish up your little soapbox piece and go do some real work.

But if none of us were misguidedly optimistic or fatally idealistic, we wouldn't have any way of putting things in perspective, of acknowledging temporary defeat with mainstream culture but appreciating that, well, at least there's Logo.


In other news, I started re-reading Anne Lamott's Bird by Bird last night in an effort to jump start my obsession-of-late of writing the next great novel. Thus far it has left me feeling inspired but already-overwhelmed. Between my hypothetical novel, my precursory thoughts on taking the LSAT, my ruminations on moving to Philadelphia, and the actuality of planning a wedding in the next year, someone has a lot on his plate.