New leaf

On Sunday, I took out my new lease on life and went to the gym with M..

And now, almost 72 hours later, I can just about straighten my arms again. Which begs the question, what good are big strong arms if I cannot use them to feed myself, or defend myself against oncoming attackers, or type this sentence without grimacing, or catch myself when I fall and trip on my taffeta in June?

Also, having not participated in this so-called "cardio" fad in well over four years, I was alarmed to find that my aging body responds to unpleasant cardio stress by producing an enormous amount of saliva, which -- trapped on the eliptical machine, scared to stop running lest I fall off and hang myself on my iPod headphone cord -- I did not know what to do with, and which only added to my general sense of shock and alarm.

I'm going to try to go back again this evening, but if this weblog remains inactive for seven days henceforth, one can reasonably assume that my arms have fallen off or that I have drowned in my own mucosa.

Pray for me.

And make sure the wedding invitations still get out on time.