Tips for Grooms #398

Groomzilla's Gay Wedding Planning Tip #398: The Do-It-Yourself Invitation

If you've gottten the idea in your head that you'd like to save a buck or two by designing, printing and assembling your own wedding invites, the first two things on your checklist should always be to first slap yourself forcefully upside the head, and to then locate the nearest black market for self-harvested vital organs. Selling one or both kidneys to the highest bidder should garner a nice nest egg that can then be easily wired to the closest available second party willing to design, print and assemble your invitations for you -- with just enough left over for those adorable Jordan almonds!

For those grooms-to-be who are even more intent on keeping their pennies (and organs) for themselves, another easy way to save time and money is to find the closest store selling pokers at a reasonable price. These pokers can be held over an open flame until hot -- red-hot works best -- and then driven forcefully into one or both eyes. Voila! The same satisfaction of self-made invitations at a fraction of the price.




Seriously, though? Despite the time and mental anguish? They're pretty awesome.