The list

My life is much simpler when I stick to descriptions of hotel rooms and the meals consumed within them. Or even minute wedding registry details. But from there, it's a slippery slope, and before I know it I've made an insurmountable mental list of Things Still Left Undone, and it is then that I realize that there is simply not enough time to plan this wedding, and our guests will be sitting on scattered pieces of cardboard box eating Ho-Ho's and listening to their iPods while I pay someone to go around snapping pictures with their cell phone.

If it must be known, here is the insurmountable mental list of incompletions:

Flowers
DJ
Photographer*
Justice of the Peace
Priest
Rings
Ceremony Details including format, content, music, vows
Tuile Jordan almond sachets
Final guest list
Seating arrangements
White doves

And that's just what I can think of off the top of my head as I am simultaneously distracted by M. watching Jimmy Kimmel Live in the next room. If I really wanted to, and wasn't exceedingly lazy, I could turn around and pull my Gay Weddings book down from the bookshelf - or shoot Jimmy Kimmel's electronic image between the eyes - to make sure I wasn't missing anything.



*spoke to Mom this evening, who avers that really there is no need for photographers in the age of Guests Carrying Digital Cameras, so this is an expense that we might consider skipping. Between this potential relief-inducing piece of advice and the fact that she is now mailing me newspaper clippings about Massachusetts gay marriage minutiae, I may have to set her up in the front of the wedding tent on a large altar with a bowl for fruit- and small animal-sacrifices. Me luv her.