Feelings, Nothing More Than Feelings

I’ve got a whole lot of feelings going on tonight.

I’m feeling depressed, because we returned last night from our whirlwind four-day bachelor party tour extravaganza in Montreal, the self-proclaimed (kind of) slut capital of Canada, which was loads of fun and filled with Labatt’s Bleues and hommes nus – all in mostly tasteful moderation – and mainly just a very nice Break From It All, which only served to enhance my depression because I still live in New York City….





....and yeah yeah yeah, everyone complains about living here and the love-hateness of it all, but seriously, I think I’m just about through with it, and every time we leave and go someplace smaller and perhaps quieter and certainly more livable, it just makes me remember that life in the Big Apple seems to have some rather deleterious effects on me and my anxiety and tension and focuslessness. I’m also feeling hot and muggy because, well, it’s hot and muggy, but I’m also feeling cranky because my tooth still hurts, which maybe I should have just sucked up but instead I drove our rental car to my dentist on Friday morning and was told the only solution to my pain is a root canal, which I’ll be receiving tomorrow afternoon and which makes me feel somewhat uneasy and irrationally vengeful, the former of which is further enhanced by the fact that there are now less than four weeks until the wedding which makes me feel just a little bit freaked out and scared and nervous and excited and like I might quite possibly vomit or laugh or cry at any given moment. I’m like some sort of mutant pregnant woman, my emotions are now dictated by some sort of invisible cosmic cycle of lunacy and I’ll be sitting on the subway and imagining M. walking towards me at our ceremony and I’ll start to cry but before the third tear is shed I’ll get frantic at the thought that we still haven’t ordered our Wedding Participant Gifts but by then I’m already remembering how pissed off I am that the Goth DJ has fallen off the face of the earth (the good news is that, as of last Thursday, he fell back on with a nice apologetic email), and all I can really do is sit here with my enormous belly, sweating and cranky but also excited and impatient, waiting to Birth This Sucker and see what it finally looks like after all this gestation…..and I hate to turn this into an e-diary or an emotional expose rather than a silly piece of bloggy fluff, but I think it’s all par for the course and so I will end with a picture of a dog under a dining room table, which is always good for a titter.