Multiple Choice; or, Made for Quiche

Question of the day:

Which is more unsettling?

A) A show I watched last night about a woman who carried her unborn baby for so long that it calcified and turned to stone and had to be surgically removed (while in the process making me feel like maybe there are some things more unfair than being a non-progeny bearing entity such as myself);

B) A show I am watching right this very second, in which Barbara Walters repeatedly makes reference to people a) dying and disintegrating and b) going to Heaven, neither of which seems very likely to be in her cosmic deck of cards; or

C) The fact that I have already, a mere 24 hours after receiving them in the mail, used our two new Emile Henry 9" burgundy clay pie dishes.
C-2) To make quiche.
C-3) Two different kinds of quiche.



In other news, in a divine example of getting what I asked for/deserve, I am now faced with the unsettling task -- after enjoying my Strike Day today by baking quiches and buying things for M's stocking and starting Chapter 3 of you-know-what and going to a distractingly-hot-guy-free yoga class -- of somehow finding my subwayless way from Midtown Manhattan to the North Bronx tomorrow morning.

I'll be the one staggering up the Major Deegan Expressway laden with two freshly baked quiches. Please be kind.

Matrimonial Pie

I could spend this post delving deep into my psychic bowels to rationalize why I've fallen off the 3-post-weekly-minimum wagon, or complaining about feeling like such a complainer this Christmas season, or listing the reasons why I am secretly but guiltily praying for a transit strike tomorrow, or even scraping the barrel for another odd piece of nostalgia involving various family members and my nipples. I could even, perchance, try to come up with a seventy-third way to passively aggressively hilariously discuss my fledgling novel.

But all of these things would be old and tired.

Instead, I will use this post to announce that M. and I received our very first official Bed Bath & Beyond online wedding registry (Christmas) gift in the mail today, and I have tasted of the fruit of bridedom, and have found it to be pleasing.

Zey ah ohut.

, ,
,

and

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Superremodeling

Sometimes I think it would come in really handy

to be able to go stand in a little sound booth

and re-record over something that didn't quite come out right the first time I said it,

like Tyra...



and Heidi...



because even though everyone would be able to tell I'd been standing in a little sound booth when I redubbed my line,

they'd feel good that I had the foresight to realize how crappy it sounded the first time,

and I'd feel good that they would never get to hear the first, awful take.

Mein Kampf

Given the scope and range of my mental To Do List --

*decide if you want to commit to law school for the next four years and, if so, sign up for the LSAT in February and find a source of funding to cover your entire tuition;

*start and finish your new novel;

*plan your wedding;

-- is it any wonder that all I can do is sit here eating ice cream and staring at the wall?

I think I need to start smaller. Like taking RJ's advice of signing up for, competing on, and winning Jeopardy! as a means of alternate cash flow.