Laura Clark is Mean

I have a new lifelong mortal enemy, and her name is Laura Clark, and she is the Devil.



Which is ironic, because she thinks that I am the Devil, too!

Some of her more choice words: ''The purpose of the hate-crime legislation seems to be just to silence those of us who oppose homosexuality,'' she said. As to the medical-decision-making bill, she added, ''We know it's a back-door way for the homosexual activists to get gay marriage.'' She said that she was taking part in petition drives that would force referendums on both issues. ''I'm collecting signatures from everyone I know,'' she said.

First of all, kudos to Laura for slipping some subversive gay humor into an otherwise tedious conversation with her "back-door" analogy.

And kudos upon more kudos for beating us homosexuals at our own game and figuring out that when we say, "Please, if nothing else, let us have some small say about what happens to our partners if and when they are run over by a truck or mauled by a bear or develop gangrene", what we are really saying is, "Pleeeeeease let us sit at your popular girl marriage table, Laura."

Finally, I'm thinking of collecting signatures from everyone I know to collect enough cash to deliver a fresh, flaming bag of dog shit to Laura Clark's front door in Catonsville, Maryland every morning for the rest of her life.

Until those signatures are collected, please add her to your prayer chart.