Old dog old habits

I was hanging out with my friends HN and SM from highschool last weekend, and we got to perusing some of my old journals. I came across the following entry from sophomore year, which doesn't quite translate from the fierce, fed-up scrawl of my youth to the typewritten form, but which does serve to prove the following:

1) I have always been impatient;
2) I have always been hyper-critical of those whom I love but who diverge from my neatly-laid plans;
3) I have always been irrationally obsessed with porn;
4) I have always been prone to violent veerings from one subject to the other; and
5) I have always, bottomline, just wanted to find somebody to love.

Aug. 9

I can't fucking stand this. The 12 days that need to pass before I can get my license seem like 12 years. I can't depend on myself, because I always need someone to drive me. Papa Gino's doesn't even deliver here ("Sorry, that's out of our radius") - screw their radius, I'm hungry! Anyway, my mother had to go to a shower, so she didn't have time to bring me. My sister's cooped up in her room, so if I bugged her she'd probably rip my head off. I cannot fucking stand it. Plus, I'm tired, so I'm in a bad mood anyway. My mother doesn't help w/ her suggestions when I'm in a sucky mood. "How about minced ham?" Minced ham?!? What the hell does minced ham have to do with pizza. What? If you feel like pizza you can just eat minced ham and you'll be completely and totally satisfied. I think not. I'm hungry!!! I can't stop thinking about porno movies. I just want to see one, because I never have. Just the ones on Showtime, but those don't count. I don't know, it's all so confusing. I NEED A GIRLFRIEND!!!