Groomzilla of the Week Award: May 21, 2005
Just when it was looking to be a slow week for groomzillas, forcing me to play an easy back-up card like Al Reynolds or Kenny Chesney, I just got word from M., who heard it through US Weekly, that Katie Holmes is now spending time at the Scientology center in LA, thus making it official that Tom Cruise has sealed his fate as a major groomzilla, a journey that began with Nicole, took a brief detour with Penelope, and has now moved to the high speed lane with Ms. Holmes.
First he cleaned her car without her permission, then he dragged her around from red carpet to red carpet, molesting her and in the process giving her what appears to be a harsh case of herpes, then he started talking about marrying her, and now he has clearly demanded that she hop on the L Ron Hubbard express bus to Insanity.
Thank you, Tom, for making my petty nagging and misguided door-blockading look like child's play.
posted by Groomzilla @ 3:11 PM
3 Comments:
do you think l ron hubbard gives tom some kickbacks for bringing celebrities in
L Ron dead, girlfriend. Besides, what possible profit could Tom Cruise stand to gain from attaching himself at the hip to a megolithic, multi-million dollar empire with ties to the media?
"Good night, she ain't been up to no good!" as my alabama mammy used to say - just look at her face!! No amount of money or media mafia could hide that cold sore OR...it could just be the beginning of l.ron's clone grafted on to her face, or a tom cruise/val kilmer love child - the possibilities are endless - and god only knows what her coochie-coochie looks like now! (cue Charo)...at least she can cover that thing up! the humanity...
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