And....cut.

Well that's over with.

I've survived with barely a scrape. Mainly thanks to my new best friend Diprivan, which was administered through my very first intravenous access somewhere between the time that I finally had to take my underwear off (they let you keep it on along with your assless johnny and your shoes-n-socks until the last minute) and the Moment of Insertion.

Seriously, I don't remember a thing. One minute the anesthesiologist was telling me I might feel a little sleepy, then I felt my brain pleasantly melting into the back of my head -- this, after I asked the nurse what the rapid beeping noise was and she told me it was my heartbeat and asked if I might be a little bit anxious -- and the next minute I was getting woken up by the nurse in the recovery room and asking her what train I was on.

It occurs to me that Diprivan should be sold over the counter and should come in 40-minute-subway-ride and 8-hour-airplane-flight dosages.

I was a little bit wary when the PA told me that "anything left in there before the procedure, we'll just suction it right out," but needless to say What We Aren't Awake For Can't Humiliate Us.

And I'm ashamed to say that even though I planned on celebrating my empty GI tract by filling it with only Good and Nutritious Things from here on out, the only thing I really wanted when M. escorted me out of the hospital was a toasted coconut donut. So that's what I got.

Oh, and the results were all fine. No colon cancer. No polyps. No what-have-you. Just a crazy owner.