Evil is born

I am a 29 year old self-professed nightmare of a gay groom-to-be.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years. We live in Manhattan and recently got engaged.

It has barely been one month and I have already felt the distinct rumblings of the dark creature conceived that fateful evening, a monster who came into existence the moment I slipped the ring onto M.'s finger. Irrational fixations on wedding locales. Obsessive ruminatings on buffet vs. sit-down, DJ vs. live band, ecru linen suits vs. light-weight cotton. Compulsive guest list revisions.

This hell-spawn inside of me will only grow larger and more terrifying with the passage of months. I have resigned myself to this fact, to the certain knowledge that one day soon, my strength will be depleted, my defenses crushed, my soul eviscerated, giving birth to a new creature - part-human, part-demon, all evil. Doomed to roam the earth for eternity, or at least until next May, striking terror into the hearts of gay fiancees, mothers-of-the-grooms and banquet halls everywhere.

My baby. My burden. My Groomzilla.